Ditch burnout: Mindset shifts for the Christian mom

Oh, burnout…it hits us all on a regular basis.

I have to tell you that I used to run myself on empty until I had nothing else. I used to feel like I was expected to do and do and do and do and do until I just fell over…that that was what it meant to be a mom. I had to do all the things all the time and taking a break or taking a rest is never pictured in any of that.

It wasn't until my physical health suffered that I started to take note of the fact that this exhaustion, running on empty, and being so burnt out was causing me to barely keep it together.

I just couldn't do it anymore.

As moms, we've just believed (and it's kind of pushed on us) that we are supposed to be doing it all. You know, back in the day, moms would stay home while the husband worked and you could take care of the kids and the house and all the things. Which yes, was still stressful. And while that still does happen, now the norm is that both parents work. Kids have lots of things going on and there's not always support from family or friends. And then we're left burning the candle at both ends.

Burnout is not something that we are expected to do. We've always equated it with faithfulness because we're faithfully following everything we thought we were supposed to be doing.

But burnout isn't a fruit of the spirit. Peace is, not burnout.

When we get into burnout, it usually happens when we've over committed to everything. The school PTA, the bake sale at church, the one that brings the drinks every other Saturday to the soccer game for the team. We’re driving other kids everywhere, we're driving our own kids somewhere. It's over-committing to all these different things.

Oh, and then we took on that extra project at work, while still keeping the house, clothes, and dishes clean, and cook food to put on the table, and get the grocery shopping done. There's so many things and it's no wonder that we get burnt out.

Unfortunately, we're also very under supported. There's two sides to that coin because under supported could be that we actually don't have people to help us (or systems in place to help us), or it could be that we're just not asking for help. There may actually be help available that we're just not taking advantage of because we feel like we're the ones that are supposed to be doing all the things.

Then we feel like we're supposed to be doing it all on our own, operating on our own strength. Again, not asking for help, not asking for support, nor using the strength of others when we need to.

One of the lies that comes into our heads is usually, if I'm not doing it all, I'm failing.

Has that ever crept into your mind? I know it has in mine.

Let me be the first to tell you: you're not failing. You are clearly checking all the boxes and doing all the things.

Our faithfulness is not measured by our busyness. Our worth is not measured by our busyness. Our life is not measured by our busyness.

If we look to Scripture for support, in Matthew 11:28-30, it says, “come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Yoke is easy, burden is light. Do you feel like your yoke is easy and your burden is light right now?

I invite you to take a step back and take a look. Where can you lighten the burden? Where can you ease the yoke?

Where are you feeling over-committed or overdrawn?

In Galatians 5:1, it says, “it is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” Because you're not saved to strive and struggle, you're saved to walk in freedom, in lightness and ease.

So how do we get out of burnout? It's definitely tough and will be a struggle for a while. It's hard to let go of old patterns when they’ve become part of our routine.

So let's start small.

Let's re-word how we're looking at things. This can be a huge shift in how you prioritize and how often you take on different tasks.

For example, instead of popping out of bed in the morning and saying, “what needs to get done today?” while creating the endless to-do list, ask instead, “what is God actually calling me to today?”

That might draw you to things that are not on your to do list.

It might draw you to things that you might start to feel aren't productive and might make you feel like you're not doing enough.

But if it is a God-led activity, if God is calling you to rest or to go play with your kids instead of getting back on the computer to finish up that project at work, then the fact that God called you to it gives the activity inherent peace.

Because God calls us to connection and to life.

So what is God actually calling you to today?

What can you release from your schedule? Or what can you delegate? What can you delay until another day? What can you just drop completely?

Maybe you have to sit down and journal over it for a little bit. Or pray or meditate over it.

Start with the question, “God, what have I picked up that you didn't ask me to carry?”

Again, his yoke is easy, his burden is light, and we pick up all the things along the way.

Trust me, I walk around like Atlas sometimes as well, carrying the world on my shoulders. I have to go back and remind myself that I've got to dump it all off and refocus my energy.

Ditch the feeling like we're failing, and release feeling guilty when we don't do it all.

This is just a friendly reminder that your worth, your self-worth, your personal worth has absolutely nothing to do with how much you got done today, and it has everything to do with who you are as a person.

You are a daughter of the King before you were a mother.

Your worth is always there, regardless of what you do and how much you check off.

When you get up in the morning, it is helpful to remind ourselves that you don't have to hustle. That might be a small breath prayer for you, that you are held and you don't have to hustle.

Whenever you start feeling like you're overwhelmed, go back to the Scripture, go back to that one that your burden should not be so heavy. Now granted, sometimes there are life situations that happen and they are heavy.

What I'm talking about here are all the things that we add to our plate that increase our burden.

When you get up in the morning, set the tone. Ask yourself the question, “what would a peaceful day look like today?”

Because if you're living for the glory of God…

He doesn't get more glory from you burning out and falling over.

He gets glory from your obedience, your peace, and your presence.

I challenge you, I challenge you to look at your schedule, see, and all your obligations really, to see what you can release or delegate or delay or drop, and to envision what a peaceful day would look like when you get up in the morning.